Taking Things Slow

Most moms of this generation want their children to learn as early as one year old. They send them to playgroups, swimming lessons and other activities that are available. They may have different reasons but there are two things that I realized (and this is just my own opinion): first, parents want their children to learn in advance; and second, they tend to pass on the responsibility of disciplining and training their children to the teachers.

As for Rohan’s case my husband and I did not believe that sending him at an early age would be good to him. So we just let him enjoy his childhood at home with the care of my father while my husband and I were at work. It was only last October 2016 that I decided that maybe it’s time for him to go to school or to a playgroup. My main purpose was to let him learn how to deal with other kids his age. I was confident then that things would turn out okay because academically (for his age, except for his writing skills) I know that he is ready for he can recite (and even sing) the alphabet, count numbers from 1-10 (before he started school), identify basic shapes and colors, know some animals and some fruits. But things did not turn out as expected. We overlooked that people skills as well as motor skills are also important when preparing for school. So after the incident from his first school experience, that’s when I started to read books on how to discipline and train him.

After we withdrew his enrollment with the first school he was at, I tried to discipline him with “Face the Wall” whenever he misbehaves. But unlike other kids, the result was unfavorable – he would keep on shouting and melts down so I stopped this method of discipline. When he started at the learning center, I observed Rohan’s teachers how they manage the kids to follow instructions and listen to them. So during their Christmas vacation I started to make him follow instructions by: (1) asking him to cover his baby bottle and put it on top of the dining table every after use; (2) throw his used diaper in the trash bin; (3) throw a trash in the trash bin; and (4) return his toys every after playing them. Simple things maybe, but when he returned school after the vacation, one of her teachers (and owner of the learning center) has told me that Rohan has improved particularly in following instructions – Rohan would already listen to his teachers whenever he would stand up and roam around the classroom during their class. Inside my head was cheering like: “Yehey! I think my sacrifice (including some of my crying moments for worrying) is starting to pay off!” But this is just the beginning of many “trials and errors” that is applicable to him since there are still a lot of disciplining and trainings that he needs to learn. Not to mention his hyperactivity issues which is still in progress for I am still reading articles on the internet on how to release those excess energy and develop his sense of control with his movements.

As of writing, house rules keeps adding up and so far so good – he would even voluntarily clean up his mess after play (though there are still times that I will remind him) and even use the toilet to pee by himself (yes, I know some would say “Why only now that you train him?”). A good friend of mine has once told me that as parents we should not be in a hurry training them to be grown-ups and that we should give them time to enjoy their childhood. I admit that we then lack to discipline and train him – applicable to Rohan’s age. We just let him do whatever he wants at home without any rules. His first school experience had a purpose after all: to make us realize that as parents we can’t just let him have whatever he wants and do whatever he pleases just so he won’t get upset at us. I also realized that every child is unique. A discipline may be applicable to one child but not to the other. And that each child develops (mentally, emotionally, and physically) at a different pace. But by taking things slowly, I somehow managed to let him listen and follow me for this past few months when I chose to be a stay at home mom.